I'm tryna be... Unforgettable

That's what Drake says in the hook of his song named ''Unforgettable'', don't worry, no review this time! I just felt like putting that as the title, you know.... I wanted to talk this time about myself, I'm in that mood right now, a bit emotional you could say.

You know I never understood myself, well that sounds kinda strange, let me put it in an other way: I have very strange thoughts I never understood. I've thoughts that are the opposite of my character; bad, criminal, hurting. Example? Simple: we have this customer, she can't speak, don't know, she pro'ly has some disease.
Anyway, she always askes me to top-up her credit on her phone, she doesn't ask exactly, she makes signs with her hand. Very friendly lady, with a beautiful child. Anyway then while I was topping-up, thoughts came in my head: What would happen if I just didn't do it, and ask her to talk? Saying ''I can't hear you'' while I know she can't talk, how would she react? Would she cry? ... So that's kinda strange if you ask me, I  really should let somebody check me. You pro'ly be wondering like: dude, who cares? Well I CARE.

It's also that I always have.. how do you call that in English.. let me check, one sec... prejudices! I also judge before I actually know somebody, I work in my dad's store and sometimes, a funny-looking customer comes by and I be like: Omg, shame on yourself for looking so bad, you're probably mentally retarded! And a few minutes later, when I actually talk to those people, I discover that they're very nice, good-hearted people... You know that hurts me a lot, then I feel like a fucking jerk... I really want to change that, I don't want to judge people before knowing or make fun of 'em. Honest.

But I do know where this comes from! Because I'm intelligent, yes it might sound strange but that's the reason. You see, I feel very superior because I'm smart, if I know that people aren't as smart I don't care about them and treat them in a different way. You see most girlfriends I've had, were pretty (not all of 'em were... sadly). But anyway those pretty girls, did a low schoollevel, so they weren't thát smart. Knowing that I actually chased them, they weren't aware of anything, couldn't keep up with me and probably wouldn't care if I did anything. Ow btw if you're my ex and you're reading this: yes I actually thought that you were stupid when you asked me if you were :) To continue, because I'm so smart I look down on people that don't LOOK smart, but that's sad, because you don't have to be smart, you can also be a good-hearted person! Actually I'm now just typing bullshit so I think I'm gonna end this. Just know that my personality is far from your reality and you will never know me from a distance but only if you're close to me, most of 'em still don't know how I am, sad.


I just really hope that you think of me...